disagreeing_better.pdf
disagreeing_bette.mp3
Sam
Hello This is 6 Minute English from BBC Learning English I'm Sam…
Rob
And I'm Rob
Sam
In this programme, we’ll be talking about disagreeing
Rob
No, we won’t!
Sam
?I think we will, Rob We’re discussing the following: ‘Is it good to disagree
Rob
I know, but I feel better for having that little disagreement – so that proves it is
good to disagree!
Sam
Well, I hate to disagree, but I think we should explore this subject a little further
first in the next six minutes…
Rob
?Err, shouldn’t that be five minutes
Sam
Rob, you are being pedantic – focussing too much on the small details or formal
rules Maybe we should agree to disagree and move onto the quiz question I like
to set you every week
Rob
Yes, a good idea
Sam
OK So, do you know which spiritual leader is famous for saying “Disagreement is
something normal”? Is it…
a) Pope Francis
b) The Dalai Lama, or
c) Ravi Shankar
Rob
That’s tricky so I’ll have a guess and say b) the Dalai Lama
Sam
OK, I'll let you know if that was correct at the end of the programme But
whoever said ‘disagreement is something normal’ is probably right I’m sure we
?all disagree with someone about something – don’t we, Rob
Rob
No… just joking! Of course disagreeing is normal – it would be boring if we
agreed about everything However, I guess agreement, on some things, may have
prevented a few wars
Sam
Indeed, but it is a fascinating subject and it’s something the BBC Radio 4
programme ‘A Guide to Disagreeing Better’ looked at I think we should hear
about how NOT to disagree first This is couples' therapist, author and speaker
Esther Perel, who knows a thing or two about that…
Esther Perel , therapist
In a battle, you position yourself in a hierarchy - one is on top of the other, and
then there is arguing that comes with a contempt in which it's not just
that I don't accept your point of view, is that, I actually really think you’re a
lesser human being
Rob
Right, so Esther explains that bad disagreement is a battle – one person tries to
take a higher position in the hierarchy A hierarchy is a way of organising people
according to their importance
Sam
So, a disagreement doesn’t go well if one person thinks they’re more important
than someone else And according to Esther, things also don’t go well if someone
has contempt, which is a dislike or lack of respect for someone or something
Rob
And contempt in a bad disagreement can be more than just not liking
somebody’s point of view – their perspective on something – it could be thinking
someone is a lesser human being
Sam
Ouch! That’s not nice Let’s think more now about good disagreement The BBC
podcast 'Seriously' has listed some tips for disagreeing better, including not
aiming for the middle ground – another way of saying 'compromising'
Rob
It also suggests speaking truthfully, listening intently – that means giving all
your attention to what’s being said - and aiming for empathy But not feeling at
the end of a disagreement that you have to agree!
Sam
I agree - and I’m sure former British politician Douglas Alexander would too He
presented the programme ‘A Guide to Disagreeing Better’ and explained why he
thought disagreeing is a good thing…
Douglas Alexander
A couple of decades I spent as an elected politician convinced me that
disagreement is necessary if society is to progress and a society that values
civility over justice and truth would simply be a recipe for stagnation But
honest conversations involve listening intently as well as speaking truthfully
Sam
The thoughts of Douglas Alexander there, who, through his work as a politician,
is convinced that disagreement is a good thing He says we shouldn’t just follow
the values of civility – that means polite behaviour It’s important to challenge
and question thoughts and ideas – not just be polite and accept them!
Rob
Yes, and if we don’t challenge things and search for truth and justice, he feels it
would lead to stagnation – staying the same and not developing The verb form
is ‘to stagnate’
Sam
But, he does say that when we discuss things and disagree we must be honest,
listen to the other person intently, and speak truthfully But I would add that this
should be done politely and with respect
Rob
Well, Sam, I’ve been listening to you intently, and if I’m honest, I think it’s about
time you gave me the answer to today’s question
Sam
We can agree on that, Rob! So, earlier I asked you if you knew which spiritual
leader is famous for saying “Disagreement is something normal”? Is it…
a) Pope Francis
b) The Dalai Lama, or
c) Ravi Shankar
?And, Rob, what did you say
Rob
I said it’s b) The Dalai Lama
Sam
And you were right - well done! Now, if you’ll agree, could we recap some of the
?vocabulary we’ve discussed in this programme
Rob
Of course First of all, I was accused of being pedantic - focussing too much on
the small details or formal rules Then we mentioned hierarchy - this is a way of
organising people according to their importance
Sam
Contempt is a dislike or lack of respect for something or someone
Rob
A point of view describes someone’s perspective on something Your point of
view might be different from my point of view
Sam
Indeed And we also mentioned civility, which means polite behaviour
Rob
And stagnation means staying the same and not developing Would you agree,
?Sam
Sam
You are right, Rob – and that brings us to the end of our discussion about
disagreeing! Don’t forget you can find lots more learning English materials on
our website at bbclearningenglishcom, on social media and on our app
Please join us again next time Bye bye
Rob
Goodbye
VOCABULARY
pedantic
focussing too much on the small details or formal rules
hierarchy
a way of organising people according to their importance
contempt
a dislike or lack of respect for someone or something
a point of view
someone’s perspective on something
civility
polite behaviour
stagnation
staying the same and not developing
